Round & Round

Tonight I'm in this never ending circle of wondering what I'm suposed to be doing with my life and feeling very useless. I know this is not true but my heart is sad. I still have not found a job. I know GOD will make it plain to me when the right one comes up, but if feels like its taking forever. Then there is the daily grind of things that feels so rutish. I'm tired of the same old same old. I want to know that I'm right where GOD wants me. I know that we are suposed to be here in Hawaii but my heart is longing for good friends. There are a few that I see a few times a week at church gatherings but no one yet that I can meet with one on one to really share my heart. I'm really feeling the drain of not having a close friend here. Blogging is good but not the same. When I'm feel like this it is normally after 8 pm here so most everyone I know is in sweet dreams and wouldn't much appreciate a call. I know that many of you wouldn't mind the call but the truth is I'm not so low that I feel ok call and waking people up. May be I'm so low because I haven't made it to the beach n weeks. Another thing adding to the lowness is hearing a small baby crying out our back window and wishing that we were being kept up all night with the sweet cry. I know it sounds crazy that I'm wanting to be sleep deprived and everything that goes with.