Hard

Today is in the middle of the 2 biggest losses of my life.

Yesterday was the first anniversary of the lose of the most amazing women I've every had the honor to know. She showed me the best example of how to be Godly wife and mother when I do have kids. She was to most giving person I know. She encouraged me in my sewing and belived in me even when I didn't. It was so forgien to me to have a motherly person be encouraging, supportive and 100% avalible. As I'm sure you can tell my mother was the opposite to Theresa. GOD used her to bring great healing to my heart in the arena of a mother. Since I had never seen the GOD consumed mother who's only goal was to love everyone so much that it gave an amazing picture of GOD himself. So selfless and loving.

Tomorrow is the 13th anniversary of my little brother David's death. Last year I went through the hardest most intense grieving of his death 2 weeks before the anniversary and wondered why and what was wrong with me it had been 12 years. Then Theresa passed. I am an example that GOD really doesn't give you more than you can bear. Even though it is very hard. He knew if I hadn't worked through the lose before I would had benn a bigger mess than I was. Also having just reprossessed through David's death I had all the feeling very fresh and was able to be emotionally avalable to help where I could. Even if it was only a hug or just a few words I was in familuar teritory. I really miss my little brother and wonder what he would be like now @ 29. He was only 16 when he died. It's funny how GOD works. I have a brother in-law that is exactlly the same age they were born 2 or 3 days appart. It's been great to see my brother in-law with his kids and think about my brother. It's hard to think that David has almost been gone as many years as he lived.

The great thing is that I know that both Theresa and David are in heaven. That both of them are no longer in pain and nolonger have limitations. I really miss both of them.