Down playing a dream.

I started thinking today about how do you explain your deepest desires. How can words do justice for what makes your heart jump with excitement?

I was just thinking how people have tried to help me with my hearts desire to have kids by telling me I should be happy at the freedom we have since we don't have kid's. I can see how GOD has blessed us in our time with out children. I know we would not have moved to Hawaii if we had kid's. In the same thought it is like telling someone who is starving not to eat the hot dog in front of them because there are so many more foods that are better even though there are no other foods around. I know I have be guilty of down playing someone's dream that I have thinking I am doing them a favor by telling them some of the not so wonderful things about what they are dreaming about. How is that doing anyone a favor. Sometimes the bright side of something you are dreaming about is the only thing that keep you going in a hard spot. I am so sorry to anyone that I have done this to.

My heart is just bubbling and my eyes are near tears just thinking about my dream. The dream to be a mom. I have dreamed about this all my life. The 9 years of infertility have tried to steel this dream. There have been many days that there has barely been a glimmer left of this dream in the hard times. Even just a few months ago I was content for a little while with the thought of never having children. It was needed at the time because the pain in my body was so bad. Now that I have an idea about what causes the pain and that it will be an off and on thing instead of on all the time thing I feel like we can manage it and have children. I feel like GOD has renewed my dream of children.

Father GOD I thank you for the dreams that you have given us. I also thank you for the time of waiting knowing that you bring out wonderful things through the pain. I thank you that everything we go through allows us to be there to help others when they are going through hard times later. FATHER I pray for those who are in a dark place of their dream. I ask that you would bring them encouragement and that they would feel YOUR arms around them. FATHER I ask for your forgiveness for the times I have discouraged people about the dream YOU have given them. I thank YOU for the loving FATHER that YOU are. That you desire to give us our dreams and that YOU have perfect timing. I ask for YOUR help when the journey to our dreams is longer than we imagined and we get discouraged. FATHER I ask that I would become pregnant. I bring to YOU my dream of children and I ask that YOU would change my heart if it differs from the plans that YOU have for us. I leave it in YOUR loving hands. AMEN.