And it came.

Strange title. I just spent the last 6 days waiting for my period, and it came. You would think after 9 years I would be pretty good at this. THe good news is that I didn't cry at work today. But now I'm home and it won't stop. I am normally very on time so by day 6 I was pretty sure I was pregnant. That's what I get for thinking. All that time of working through not having kids seem to have all been wiped away. My heart is in a million pieces and I want to just give up. I know it is just the moment. I will be fine because GOD is faithful. I was so STUPID to have gotten my hopes up. Although I don't think I've ever been that late before. I really want a child. I would really like to experience being pregnant. Maybe it's just being around a lot of pregnant people I don't know. I do now a lot of people that are pregnant right now and I thought I was going to join them. Don't get me wrong I am very happy for them. I just wouldn't be able to talk about it right now with out tears. I feel very lost right now.